2. Apparently, some people think the so-called Enchanted Island is beautiful.
Raices Fountain at La Princesa, Old San Juan
3. When it’s obviously not.
Luquillo Beach, Luquillo
4. Gorgeous, luscious rain forests are nonexistent in Puerto Rico.
El Yunque Rain Forest
5. Some people say Old San Juan is a treasure, when it’s obviously not.
Old San Juan from air
6. There is absolutely nothing in Old San Juan that will interest history buffs…
Military reenactors at El Morro Fortress
7. …Or architecture enthusiasts.
Fortaleza Street, Old San Juan
8. The whole coastline of Puerto Rico is full of plain-looking beaches.
Flamenco Beach, Culebra
9. I mean, look at these beaches!
La Playuela, Cabo Rojo
10. NO ONE WOULD LIKE THEM!!!
Isla Verde Beach, Carolina
11. A WASTE OF SAND!!!!
Red Beach, Fajardo
12. If you crave adrenaline, there’s nothing to do…
13. You’ll die of boredom.
Wingsuit over Puerto Rico.
14. They only have one of the world’s longest single-run zip lines. Big whoop.
La Bestia zip line, Toro Verde Adventure Park
15. There are zero places to explore.
La Mina Falls
16. It’s all the same boring ecosystem everywhere.
Guánica Dry Forest
17. Puerto Rico’s climate is warm, tropical, and inviting ALL YEAR LONG!
Blue Horizon Boutique Resort, Vieques
18. Who wants that?!?
19. Customs won’t stamp your passport because there’s no need for a passport for U.S. citizens…UGH!
20. There is not a single breathtaking place in the whole island.
Cueva Ventana, Arecibo
Parque de las Cavernas del Río Camuy
22. Not. A. Single. One.
Caonillas River, Utuado
23. And by the way, the food SUCKS!
24. Foodies starve to death in Puerto Rico. STARVE!
Pasteles & arroz con gandules
25. Puerto Rico’s 20-plus golf courses are universally hated for their lack of aesthetics.
Royal Isabela golf course
26. There are festivals and parties full of colors and traditions all around the island almost every weekend.
27. Who in their right minds would like all that partying?!?
Fiestas de la Calle San Sebastián
28. Only crazy people choose to have their weddings here.
Wedding at the Antiguo Casino de Puerto Rico
29. After all, who wants to get married in a tropical paradise?
Wedding at Flamenco Beach by Weddings in Vieques.
30. Puerto Rico ONLY has three of the six bioluminescent bays in the world.
Mosquito Bay, Vieques
31. And they are nothing special or magical.
Mosquito Bay, Vieques
32. With an area of 100 by 35 miles, Puerto Rico has nothing to offer tourists.
Condado, San Juan
33. Admit it, you’d rather stay home than experience this.
Surfing in Isabela.
34. Or this.
El Yunque rain forest
35. Especially this.
Reef at Mona Island
36. With so little to offer, nobody knows why they call Puerto Rico the #AllStarIsland.
Los Morrillos Lighthouse, Cabo Rojo
37. Why would anybody want to vacation in Puerto Rico? It’s a complete mystery.
Old San Juan